There is a bit of a crisis of manhood in the United States and much of the world today. You can see it in the gender gap that is so apparent this election season. Men are much more likely to support candidates that have reactionary stances on women's rights. The bad economy has hit men particularly hard and in the long-term the post-industrial society is going to produce less and less of the typical "man jobs" like construction and manufacturing. Men will have to re-evaluate their sense of self and self-worth in a society that values "manpower" less and emotional, persuasive, intellectual, creative, and caring power more. It is not that men do not have the capacity to be the equals of women in all of these categories, it is simply that men have been conditioned to express their masculinity in more physical ways. That may have been appropriate for industrial society, but it produces deeply alienated men in post-industrial society.
Our men are subject to a double-bind. On one hand, some of the jobs that men have traditionally done (like physical work) are disappearing or are paying less, others that are status-power jobs (like physicians, lawyers, etc.) are not as plentiful to begin with and men must now compete with women for them. On the other hand, a man's sense of self-worth is very intertwined with his job, to the detriment of family life. So, less jobs or worse jobs plus a sense of self-worth contingent on the job produces very angry men. Angry male voters are not likely to make well thought-out, rational decisions at the ballot box, and are likely to want to regress to a prior period of idealized manhood. When one's sense of self-worth is being assaulted, people look for extreme solutions.
How can men in America regain a sense of self-worth? I argue that going back to the 50s is simply not an option. Let the dead bury their dead. The only way that men can regain this self-worth is to radically re-evaluate what it means to be a man. Women have been radically re-evaluating what it means to be a woman for over 50 years now (maybe longer), but men have only just begun. It is not that men should all do a 180 and become stay-at-home dads, work is still important for anyone's sense of self-worth. Men must find additional and coequal sources of self-worth that can survive a job loss. Being a thoughtful man, being a good and coequal partner, being a good dad, being an active part of the life of our communities and their decision-making processes in partnership with women. There are many ways to rescue men from the current state of anomie. This will improve our lives in many ways:
It will lead to less self-destructive behavior:Many men do not see a future for themselves due to the changing nature of the economy and the stubborn tendency to have a very narrow work-centric and anti-female notion of masculinity. When this notion of masculinity fails men, some act out in very destructive (self or other) ways.
It will make us better lovers: When a man is a good partner and respects his partner as a coequal part of the relationship, that respect will be returned (IF she is also a good partner!). This will cause less tension and more happiness in a relationship, more love, and better sex!
It will make us better educated Women have been whipping our butts in education attainment over the last 30 years or so. I do not think this is because men are any less capable than women, I simply think that education and critical thought are less important in our industrial-era mentality. Education is not seen as a good it itself but as a means to attain that all important sense of self-worth that can be provided by bringing home the bacon. When high-paying construction jobs that do not require a college education are plentiful, the incentive is to go for them and forgo a higher education (at least a technical education, which I think is undervalued in our society). On the other end of the spectrum, men want to be doctors or engineers and not social workers or teachers (part of this problem is the pernicious stigma that men in childcare are suspect, which is abetted by a sensationalist media), but these jobs are only available to a select few, in the middle there are much less men. I remember a women (a mom) telling me when I was a financial advisor that it was more important for her daughter to go to college than for her son because her son could get a high-paying job without a degree, maybe 40 years ago, but that calculation makes almost no sense today.
It will make us better fathers Fathers of the 50s put almost everything they had into work and play, and delegated nearly total authority for parenting to their wives. Sons and daughters need fathers that are do not just work but are engaged in family life. If women can juggle both, then I don't see why we can't too. Father engagement has improved dramatically but not to the level it could be.
In short, men must continue the process of redefining what it means to be a man, we will all be better off for it. Feminists are not the enemy in this task, but an important ally. They've been doing it for over 50 years.
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